What To Do?

We all have that aunt, uncle, cousin, or someone (maybe even some individuals) in our families that just get on our last nerves and no one loves to have in their presence for long; or at all for that matter. But what if this person didn’t start off as someone whom you didn’t really want to share the same space with? What if this person is a bit older than an uncle or an aunt and you can’t just avoid this particular person because you live with this person? What to do?

Because this entire situation is so embarrassing to me as well as the family member I would like to keep the details of this story under wraps. Prior to these past several months my relationship with this family member was just how it should be. I lived far enough away from her that, when I saw her, it was exciting for both of us. She would be so happy to see me and I felt the same. She would greet me with a kiss on my cheek and fix me rice and eggs or cut up a raw tomato and sprinkle some garlic salt on the pieces. I often searched for time to take her with me on shopping trips, beach trips, dinner, etc. She would ask me about school and I would tell her things are going great. She would also express how happy and proud she was of me and would also tell me stories of my childhood. I loved those times. I miss feeling carefree and relaxed when around this family member, but now much has changed.

My husband and I have just recently moved in with this person from being on our own and, not only was I uneasy about loosing my private space, I was also anticipating what this particular situation between my family member and a friend would escalate to. Unfortunately, circumstances intensified and became so ridiculous that it was too uncomfortable for this friend to come over and spend time with my husband and I. In addition to that constraint, I feel obligated to stay within the four walls of my room for the sake of my sanity.

I hate that I have to keep my distance from someone that I truly do love but how can I not? I feel as though if I make myself vulnerable to her trap it will be impossible to reestablish our relationship to how it was pre-drama. I know it is very difficult for you to really judge and analyze my predicament because you do not have all the details but just trust that I would never choose to distant myself from a loved one. I don’t take pleasure in feeling like this towards her at all.

We were presented with this opportunity to possible move out, paying the same for rent and being able to save just as much. I would love to just get out of this confinement but I just don’t want to leave on bad terms. What to do?

- Cairesse Grimes