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The Truth About the Fact: An International Journal of Literary Nonfiction

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The Truth About the Fact: A Journal of Literary Nonfiction is an international journal committed to the idea that excellence in the art of letters can play a vital role in transforming the planet we share.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Just One More Cookie...

After being sick for two and half weeks (and eating nothing but soup, bland soup at that) I was starving. I wanted real food, solid food, junk food, or more specifically, sweets. I began eating soy ice cream and girl scout cookies religiously. When I exhausted those desserts, the cookies at the den became my life. After every real meal came a cookie. Sometimes that cookie even became my meal.

As the cookies piled in, so did the guilt. Why was I eating so many cookies? Why couldn't I stop? It felt like no matter how hard I tried to not eat that cookie, to not have that dirty Oreo freeze, the more I struggled and gave in. This resulted in eating even more cookies. I became a cookie machine. I ate them so much that my boyfriend began calling me his cookie monster. While a joke, it started to sound like an insult instead of a funny term of endearment.

A small complex started building inside of me and every time I ate a cookie I felt guilty. I would make myself swear I would not eat another meal if I had a cookie. My cookie had to be my meal. My body started to feel disgusting, I became sluggish and lazy. I didn't feel healthy in the slightest. I tried and tried not to eat those cookies, those bad foods, but I could not seem to stop. I had opened the door and it was not ready to be shut just yet. I looked up online ways to stop eating so much, ways to give up junk food for good. Yet again the more I tried not to eat the cookie, the more I wanted it. It has been three weeks since and you know what? I still want that cookie!

--Alyssa Bermudes


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awww Brittnee, I sorry to hear that about your parents. But know this that God will never fail you.

Isaiah 57:18 I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will guide him and restore comfort to him,

Hebrews 13:5 (NLT)
Don't love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, "I will never fail you. I will never abandon you."

God Loves you Brittnee and so do I
I pray all is well with you

Sister Soldier

December 19, 2011 at 1:25 AM  

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