Family Matters

As of January, my brother and father haven't spoken to one another. I'm not sure if it was my dad's drunken behavior during me and my brother's trip home to Atlanta for Thanksgiving, or the fact that my family has been broken up since 2003 is just now manifesting. Either way, I am now automatically responsible for the family drama my brother and father are inciting with each other.

Okay, I'll be honest, brutally honest. My dad is an alcoholic and God knows I wish I could insert the word "recovering" before stating that fact. But he's not. In actuality, it seems as though his condition has gotten worst over the past two years. For breakfast, he doesn't drink coffee while reading the newspaper. Instead, he nonchalantly pours himself a glass of wine in a coffee mug. Mind you, his usual waking time is about 8:00am.

My father's condition is hard to accept, but even harder to aid. He doesn't want help because like anyone suffering from a illness, they don't believe they are actually sick. He goes to work every day, pays my tuition and rent on time, and supports his family the best way he knows how. To my father, he is meeting all of the requirements in the "How to be a Dad" handbook.

I will admit that my dad has laid out a wonderful life for my brother and me, he has also caused a lot of tension between our family. The first problem is his alcoholism, but that is the least of the problems.

My brother went to Howard University in Washington D.C. and graduated in 2008. Since then, he has busted his ass to start a career in an economy where jobs aren't exactly in abundance. In doing so, he was successful. However, my dad doesn't approve of the career choice my brother has made. He feels as though my brother could be doing more. My dad thinks my brother would be most successful in Atlanta; which is where my dad moved and opened his own restaurant.

Their feud over the meaning of success and my battle with my dad's alcohol problem has left me drained and empty. I wish I could run away from these family matters. That's just it though, my family matters. Although I want to scream and shout or pull my hair out, I love my family. In essence they are apart of me. Whether it be my dad suffering from chronic alcoholism, or my brother and father causing havoc at the dinner table upon every family get together, I will still love them both.

It's most important for me to recognize that I can't solve problems that aren't ultimately left in my hands. If it is out of my hands their is nothing I can do but seek the best for both my brother and my dad. I will continue to support my dad until he's ready to admit to his illness. I don't doubt the power of time. Time heals all.

-Brittnee Wadlington