I'm A Grown-Up Now

Everyone says the same thing. I remember when I was little and couldn’t wait to be an adult, but now I just wish I could go back. I graduate from LMU in 2 months. Then I enter the real world of a career, actual bills, settling down and getting to this thing we call life. There are a million and one thoughts in my mind that deal with that same idea. I wish it wasn’t here so soon, but there are a million and two thoughts that tell me I am ready.

Do I have a job set up for me when I graduate? Do I know what I will be doing after I graduate? Do I know where I will be? My answer to all of these questions is a big fat no. I do, however, know that I will not be attending Grad school. After 18 years of school, I am physically, emotionally, and mentally drained. Not to mention financially, but that is only a result of these past four years. Still, I can see the finish line and I am ready.

I admit that there is a lot of fear inside. What if I don’t succeed? What if I never find a job that will actually apply the major I got my degree in? What if I have to settle for something little? How do I know I will turn out fine? Everyone tells you, “You’re a bright kid. You will do well,” but you never know. I have seen success stories and those of failures. I know what it is like to be put up on a pedestal as the star child that could do anything. I could fail though.

But I won’t. I believe in myself. I believe in all the years I fought and disciplined myself. All of this isn’t for nothing. I am ready. Of course I wish I had a crystal ball that said you will be fine in your future, but I don’t. Still, there is not as much fear in me as there is a desire to get out there.

It may sound a bit cliché, but I want to get out there and make a difference. I want to work in a place where I can change lives. And as I near my graduation, I cannot wait to hand someone a resume that says look at my accomplishments so that we can create more together. I am hungry. I will succeed.

There is a part of me that would love to go back to those days when I was younger and didn’t have to worry about anything. Those were fun years, but who says being an adult isn’t fun. Yes, there's a lot of work, stress, and sacrifices involved, but it betters the person you are. We all have to grow up at some point and when we look back, we can see all those fun times we had as kids and adults. We can look at all of the great moments from our entire life.

I am not afraid of what is going to happen to me after these two months are up. Yes, the economy sucks and the world we’re in is crazy, but what better time to enter it. If I can survive becoming an adult in one of the roughest times, I will be happy and that little kid who always wanted some sort of superhero power will have finally gotten them.

~Michelle Mitchell