He's just not that into you...or is he?

Over the weekend I had the pleasure of attending an advanced screening of the film adaptation of “He’s Just Not That Into You”. It is only appropriate that at this time of year, studios would release a movie that is a “feel good chick-flick” right around Valentine’s Day. They like to target the single women who will spend Valentine’s Day alone or with their girlfriends. The previews are full of laughs, enticing you to go see a comedy on a holiday where you don’t want to be stuck at home eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s watching sad movies all by yourself. I guarantee many women will flock to this movie and many will leave either feeling more depressed than when they walked in or they will lose confidence in themselves or any potential relationships they think they are on the brink of starting.

Going into it, I knew what I could expect to see because of the book. I had never read the book myself but had a jist of what it was about. However, I didn’t realize that this was going to be a movie that makes you question every single action you take in both a romantic and friendly situation. I am not one to be a feminist in really any atmosphere of life; although I do appreciate the rights women have earned over the years. This movie, however, made me feel as though women have taken quite a few steps back in time. It makes you feel like you are an idiot for ever texting, emailing, or calling someone of the opposite sex even if you just want to be friends with them. Granted, some of the moves girls take in the film are a bit excessive, but in reality, I don’t think it is a bad thing for a girl to initiate a conversation with a guy that she might be interested in. I mean I suppose there is the unspoken rule of waiting until they contact you but in a world where people are willing to advertize themselves on match.com, what is so wrong with calling someone that you met before he calls you?

For any women out there who are planning on seeing the film, you better pray that you haven’t been on a date recently and are waiting for Prince Charming to call because this movie basically makes you feel that if you haven’t heard from him after one hour, he has zero interest in you. I think that many women can say that after going on a date they have heard from the other member of the date after more than one hour. I’m sure some women have gone days without hearing from them, but eventually maybe had a second date.

I won’t spoil the movie and say how it ends, but I can say that you may walk out of the theater wanting to never put yourself out there again. I know I certainly considered past relationships or people I’ve met over the years and whether or not our interaction followed “the rules” that are apparently required to have a healthy, happy and normal relationship. I understand that there is a line in putting yourself out there that I think applies to both men and women. However, the line that is drawn in the movie is one that I can bet many women in relationships have crossed in the process of finding a significant other. In a world where people end up marrying someone they met online, or find someone they will take home in a three minute speed-date conversation, I think the “rules” of dating have changed drastically. I’m not suggesting that a woman should be the one to initiate everything but I do feel that the movie is inaccurate in depicting relationships today and the role of women in relationships. In fact, in many of my parent’s friends I have met women who have been the one to propose to their husband, which may not be the path I hope to take one day, but it does demonstrate how far we have come.

If you are going to see the movie, don’t let it bring you down if you haven’t heard from that special someone in the past five minutes and don’t let it discourage you from ever walking up to a guy at a bar and introducing yourself first. Try and leave the movie with a glass half full attitude and remember that it takes two to tango in relationships as well as the pursuit of a relationship.

Eilly O'Neil