Tomorrow Never Comes

This is the last post I will be making for Truth About The Fact, so I’m going to make it all about me. Most of my articles have been about social issues or idiosyncrasies I see in our world today, but what I want to challenge myself with is a more personal approach to writing, so here I am.

I am afraid, because I don’t know what’s supposed to happen next. On May 7th 2011 I will fulfill the last task my parents expect of me. It’s the last thing on the list, but there are still plenty of lines left. This is both liberating and debilitating. I feel the former because I have the entire world to explore and my own success to define, and the latter because I don’t know what the hell to do.

I hope you, reading this, share of have shared this feeling. It would make me feel better.

The only reason I came to LMU was to avoid doing homework. I began in the film school as a Recording Arts major, and since then many things have changed.

Camera Technician. Sound Board Operator. Long Distance Boyfriend. Band Member. Improv Comedian. Actor. Orientation Leader. Silent Retreater. Research Assistant. Writing Tutor. Dance Marathoner. Alternative Breaks Leader. Blogger.

I have not become who I thought I would be.

I mean this in a good and bad way. I’m sure you can relate to the feeling that you haven’t made the most of your time; that you walked through too much of life with dead eyes and static heart. This is a train of thought I am attempting to derail. For this, I have found that the best medicine is the presence of others.

I am humbled and impressed by my peers. They do countless things that I could never dream of, and they think about the world in a different but no less beautiful way than myself. I’ve been able to watch my friends perform their lives artistically through music, theater, film, dance, art, and writing. Early in college I would upset myself watching my friends succeed, that their talents made me seem unimpressive, but now I am beginning to understand the selfishness of such a perspective.

This is about me giving up on perfection. A healthy breakup, I must say.

So what do I plan to do after college? I am going to serve others, live simply, reflect thoroughly, laugh with soul, stretch my legs, be grateful, and not be so hard on myself. This is the first step building a career as a community organizer, musician, lawyer, doctor, author, social worker, philosopher, or wandering ascetic. I might do none, some, or all of these things, but my hope is to first learn how to live, because I have fooled myself for long enough.

Here’s to tomorrow, may it never come for me.

Sean McEvoy