A Story told to me by a friend and now i retell

Every day feels like the night making the darkness all consuming. I draw the shades down to hide the promise of a new day, a new life. It is all a lie. Why look at a false hope hiding inside a beam of light that kisses your face while simultaneously lying to your heart. Today I wear my usual black cardigan because it covers the history I long to forget, the past that haunts my future. Every line on my arm has a story on a page I yearn to burn. Occasionally I do. It wasn’t always like this. I used to be able to bask in the sun just like you; to smile just like you. But that was before the screaming started. Before the nights where I clung to my pillow for a little bit of relief from the constant hate that filled my ears. I couldn’t take it. I didn’t understand why it was happening or why it never seemed to stop. We use to be happy; we used to live. Momma blamed me. She screamed it was my fault he was doing this, my fault he hated her so; hated us. She called me the mistake, the curse, the unwanted creature that cast darkness into her life. I didn’t want to believe her but daddy said it too. He took to bottle every night then lost himself in fits of rage. Momma would fall and cower as his aggression turned him into a beast that could not be tamed. One-day daddy took it too far and his anger got him sent to prison. Momma blamed me. I believed it was my fault. I was there; I was the unwanted. Momma said when daddy hit her he wished he was hitting me. Momma said she protected me by letting him strike her so and now he is gone and she would trade a million of me for one more day with him. That day came. I woke up Monday morning and momma was not there. Today is Friday and momma is still not here. So I wait, hiding the light and it’s promise that never comes.

--Alyssa Bermudes