No is an Absolute

The phrase, “If she didn’t want it, she shouldn’t have been dressed like that” should be banned. In all of its forms. Period.

It’s simple logic. No women who wear short skirts/dresses/whatever they’re barely wearing or not wearing want to be sexually assaulted/rape/violated/touched.

How do you ask for something like that? Why would you?

I personally think its disgusting when girls dress “trashy” or “skanky”. Yes, I think that girls who dress like that are trying to get some kind of attention, but no one wants to get raped. It’s not some unspoken signal. And I certainly never think that it's going to happen to every girl who does this nor do I wish it on them. Because it's just wrong.

This also goes for the girls who drink way too much. It’s taking advantage of someone. It’s rape. Just because she didn’t say “no”, it doesn’t mean you’re allowed to do whatever you want. She didn’t have the power to say no.

And all these jokes, those jokes, you’ve heard of them: It’s not rape if she’s smiling; Does this smell like chloroform to you? They’re not funny. Why? Because it’s actually what happens.

According to the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN), one in six women and one in 33 men will be a victim of sexual assault. The statistics for college age women are four times that.

It’s just about respect. This isn’t just a women’s/feminist/sexist issue. It’s about human rights. No one wants to be violated. Everyone has the right to choose what to do with his or her body and no one else should take that away.

I’m lucky that I’m not a statistic, but there might be one day I could be. I’ve been at a party where someone got too close and overstepped their boundaries, but I’ve been lucky. It could have been worse. It could have extended beyond inappropriate touching during dancing. Yes, I’ll admit it, I’d had a drink or so, but I wasn’t dressed “skanky” or at least I didn’t think so and neither did other people at the party. And yes, I did say no and I moved away from that guy. And I'm grateful, nothing else happened after I moved away.

It’s more likely I’ll see something happen, given our national averages. But I know that if I ever see anyone being taken advantage of, whether it’s a man or a woman, I will interfere. Because it’s not right. No matter what the situation is. No matter how much they drank or what they were wearing or what kind of person they are. It’s not right.

Because sometimes, a dress is just a dress (no matter how short of barely there it is). But NO always means NO.

Issa Morada

Photo Credit: CircleOfLight on DeviantART