Hey, Bitch

As a 21 year-old college student I am often referred to as a “bitch.” Sometimes I am a “hoe,” or a “slut.” In fact I refer to my girlfriends as my “bitches,” “hoes,” and “sluts.” And we don’t usually hang out on random street corners dressed in patent boots and skirts, and fish net tights. I guess we’re showing our appreciation for each other and laughing about it. It is hilarious when I am thought of as a bitch by my best friend, I am always thinking she must love me. So I call her one back in appreciation.

Is this normal?

I was going through some old CDs that were my favorite when I was about 13-years-old. I came across Nelly, a CD I listened to frequently and knew most of the words. My friends and I would play the CD and see how well we knew the lyrics. Well, the lyrics began like this:

See now you could be a lady of a bitch now
Still, your thicky thicky thicky thick
Lookin like a lolli-pop waitin for the lick girl

This must have been where it started. I wish I could remember the first time I heard this term and what my reaction was. Did I think, “oh, I am a bitch?” Or, “are just some girls bitches?” Or did I ask myself, “Is this a bad thing?” The fact is I can’t remember my reaction because this kind of language is so ingrained in our culture, mainly because of the music industry. The seriousness of the subject seems to be overlooked. Do I think twice when I call my girlfriends sluts? Not usually. I laugh and think, she is hilarious and move on with my life.

What if I one day decided to say, “hey girl that I appreciate.” I would probably get an awkward reaction. But, there is no reason why derogatory terms get the point across any better. Maybe it is women saying to rap artists, “Yeah call me a bitch, hoe, and slut see if I care, in fact I will use the term too.” Is it a if you can’t beat em, join em type situation? Is it a woman’s way of being valued by laughing along with the joke? Or are we just manipulated by society and stuck in a hole?

I get the impression that my male friends do not think it is funny when girls say that to each other. Women find the most humor in it. Why do we find humor is calling each other bitches, hoes, and sluts, a term some artists in the music industry use to treat women like objects? Women have been so badly ridiculed we choose to laugh at it. Is this a recipe for change?

Women are the leaders and matriarchs in most families. Most women are the confident and motivating wives and girlfriends. Women are opinionated, strong and independent. Women deserve more appreciation and love than we have ever been given in the past. But, we have to love ourselves first. If we respect ourselves artists in the music industry will realize it is not entertaining to use insulting terms. So I take my oath to never call another friend a bitch, slut, or a hoe. They are my girls!

Krystle Aldana