Clicking the Day Away

Click. Click. Click I’m clicking my life away with the mouse and keyboard. Click. Click. Click. I’m hunched over, twisting my spinal column uncomfortably, squinting at the monitor, giving myself a headache. My eyes begin to water.

I’m reading Wikipedia, and now the New York Times. I change over to Google and look up “Carpal tunnel syndrome.” I read over the symptoms and begin to wonder if I’m a victim. Am I a slave to this world? Is there any other way around it?

I feel like I’m pushed onto a never-ending escalator. There’s thousands of people in front me and thousands behind me. I have nowhere to go; I can only go with the flow.

I’m stuck. I have to define myself within the limits provided to me. This escalator doesn’t stop moving and the end is nowhere in sight.

All of these new gadgets and gizmos, they make life easier – but they change life. I have to go to the gym to stay in shape; now there’s a concept. Apparently, pushing keys and straining my eyes in front of the monitor doesn’t burn off calories. It’s not quite the same as herding cattle or moving hay around. Many jobs don’t include physical labor – they aren’t jobs, in the traditional sense of the word. I don’t break a sweat in office, unless of course, the computer crashes, I lose my work, and then throw a wild conniption fit – smashing keyboards and mice, and throwing donuts in perfect synchronicity with the swear words coming out of my mouth. Donut holes are now weapons.

My friend just got notified via text message that he had been dumped. He thought it was going to be a confirmation for a dinner date. "Three years isn’t that long anyway," he says.

Three cheers to modern technology. Maybe two, my wrist hurts.

-Alex Tandy