I Have Ta'en Too Little Care of This

O! I have ta'en Too little care of this. Take physic, pomp; Expose thyself to feel what wretches feel, That thou mayst shake the superflux to them, And show the heavens more just.

I've exhausted my mind during rare conscious moments with these words...the grief of King Lear, the question of perspective.
Joan Didion made note of the "unremarkable circumstances" of the day on which the "unthinkable" occurrs..."the clear blue sky from which the plane fell, the routine errand that ended on the shoulder with the car in flames, the swings where the children were playing as usual when the rattlesnake struck from the ivy." Seldom do we anticipate the events that forever change us. Rarely do we dream we will trek the territory we'd stationed in the realm of something separate and surreal.
"You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends. The question of self-pity."
Perspective has forever changed. I came-to that day knowing it was all becoming wrong, my darling. So did you. Something inside us, perhaps the curious quality that syncs our nightly dreams--our beat changes--sent Mayday warnings to our senses, bore in us an animal instinct that the seasons were due for a shift. I have taken too little care of this. I sat up beside you, you weren't the same. I could tell you were going fast, I could feel the eruption of nerves. Who knew that we would wake at dawn on the careless track of one life, and derail by dusk to be thrust on another?
"The question of self pity"
Upon these events, the hovering goal of eventual completion, hefty means for happy ends, changes its course. How little we expect it; life as a steady frame embedded in slabs of foundation, now a broken house succumbed to eternal renovation.
"You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends."
These times of adversity reveal character, love. The evils that lurk beneath your skin, those only palpable in the darkness of alarm, come to front and NO I don't want to hear your excuses. The shock of this malignant reality-delivered so plainly by Moira's hands, yes- will cripple and make devils of us if we fail to reach for truth. That is the only way we can make this right again, that is the only way we stay strong. We must atone after taking too little care of this.


Alison May
Photo: Carden's Design: Ashley's Photo Shoot