Chip fanatic

My name is Hannah and I am a carbohydrate addict. Specifically potatoes. There’s something about those stupid lumpy starches that make me unable to stop eating them. I wish I could say that my addiction lay only with the healthy preparations of potatoes like baked or roasted, but no mine is a much fattier and processed kind of love: Chips, fries, and mashed with gravy (I only really indulge in mashed at holiday time or at a restaurant, but if there are fresh mashed potatoes anywhere in my vicinity, they will be consumed at a rapid and inhuman rate.). If I could break down my addiction the levels would be something like this:
Can’t live without my….
1. Salt and Pepper Crinkle cut, kettle cooked chips (Trader Joes brand Duh)
2. Potato wedge seasoned fries (By seasoned I mean that orange hued set of spices that make them the best tasting fries out there)
3. Seasoned Curly fries
4. Regular thin salted fries (I hate plane fries)
5. Regular lays potato chips
6. Salt and vinegar potato chips (preferably kettle cooked, but I’m not too picky in terms of these)
7. Mashed potatoes (garlic or with gravy, but never both at the same time)
8. Steak cut fries
9. Tater tots

Yes on the road to becoming an addict, somewhere on the way I also became a connoisseur of sorts. I can give you recommendations on what chain has the best fries considering what type of fry you want, I know what brands of potato chips have the best texture, and I can always tell when mashed potatoes are real or the fake little flakes. Yes somewhere between addiction and passion I now find myself lost, for I chose at the beginning of this new year a new years resolution for the ages. No chips. Ok so that’s not that crazy, especially seeing the list that offers six other types of potatoes I could potentially eat, but the chips were honestly the ones that I ate the most and were the most accessible. For instance, at the beginning of the year I went through a family sized bags of potato chips in one to two days…by myself… almost every week. It didn’t help that my friends constantly bought chips so that they could watch the process of inhalation occur (they bought be one hundred bags of chips and a Costco size family bag of crinkle cut salt and pepper on my birthday, plus six packages of spaghetti, and a cheesy bread, and a two pound cake) but either way something had to change. If I let this go on who knows where I’d be now? Waking up passed out with empty fry containers around me. Hording chips in my pillowcases? I couldn’t risk these heinous possibilities. I quit cold turkey one Monday night.
I had been going strong for four weeks when suddenly it happened, Super Bowl Sunday. The very day that beckons even the healthiest of eaters to the tables that hold the most deliciously bad food anyone could have cooked up. Just my luck that when I get to the party that I see no potato chips except the remnants of some Lays Crinkle Cut chips in the bottom of a bowl. Easy, I pass by without so much of a glance. With the game almost at an end I feel proud that the chips didn’t even faze me, I think to myself Yeah good job you’ll never want chips again. Suddenly my friend brings out an un-opened bag of potato chips. I die. The next few moments are a blur. A Bag is passed, the dip brought out, and before I know what I’m doing I’m eating the chips.
Although I wanted to be upset, I really didn’t care. In the end I realized that despite my total lack of will power, I can exercise my newfound moderation skills that some how developed over my short period of deprivation. So as short lived as my resolve had been on my ban against ships, I gained a healthier perspective of all things being fine in smaller quantities. I guess anything is smaller than a Costco Family Sized product so that gives a good deal of leeway for improvement