When Goodbye Becomes Hello

I’ve always hated goodbyes, and this one wasn’t going to be any different. I took in the scenery, letting the musky scent of wet grass pass through my nose as I shifted my bare toes around a pile of crisp leaves. It had only been one year, but it felt much longer. It was a bittersweet goodbye.

I was moving away from the simple and quaint Southbend, Indiana to a place known for it’s fame and excess, a stark contrast from what I had become accustomed to here.

I was moving to Los Angeles.

His sweaty palm rested on the leg of my jeans, his fingers circling the rip at the knee.

“Do you really have to go?” he asked.

I didn’t answer. Didn’t look him back in the eye. Instead, I shifted my gaze overhead. The moon was more visible now and cast a warm glow over the lake. Dusk was ending as the nightfall began to set in. The ducks gliding across the water were no longer visible, and the stars provided only a dim illumination in the black sky. They were stars that would be much harder to see in a polluted city.

A single tear dropped from my eye. I felt the slow, deliberate touch of a hand graze my cheek. His thumb lightly pressed into the hollow of my eye and brushed away the salty, wet drop.

I wanted to run away.

I guess, in a sense, I was.

That moment occurred nearly two years ago but it feels like yesterday. Adjusting to life in LA was not an easy transition, but now the bright lights, loud cars, and thick brown air feel like home. When I left Indiana, I didn’t know that I was making one of the best decisions of my life. In fact, I was nervous about my decision, and most of all apprehensive about starting over.

When you move, your life flips upside down. A new place gives you a new perspective, a clearer view, a stronger purpose. And so now, with summer approaching, I have a new place to look forward to. There will be another bittersweet goodbye, but still with the intention of a new adventure, an exploration of the unknown, and more self-discovery.

I will be traveling across Europe. It will be the first time in my life that I will be leaving the United States and traveling to a new country. As the days to my departure approach, I look forward to the people I will meet and the places I will go. I’m a strong believer that everything and everyone you come across in life has a purpose. That the minuet details are what makes life exciting and sometimes the littlest things can become the most profound moments of you life.

So today, I savor the dirty mist of LA raindrops that cover my head, I remember the smile of an acquaintance I passed by in the parking lot, I take in the beauty of my blue front door on Regis Way, and how easily I can find a Chipotle within 5 miles of my current location. I enjoy these little things, because pretty soon I will be surrounded by the unfamiliar. There will be no recognizable faces, language, or street names. But I also know that this experience will enable me to grow and that I should not fear the unknown too much, because this time I’m not running away, I’m moving forward.

-Courtney M. Myers