The Family Nucleus

In the spring 2009 edition of the Truth About the Fact, Jennifer D. Munro’s story that chronicles her struggles of starting a family when the ticking biological clock is chiming violently against her was an engaging and heartfelt piece. As a child, I myself never really wanted a family and I’m still very unsure why. I essentially had two loving parents and two older and loving siblings. In a lot of ways, I had the perfect nuclear family and yet my desire to have children of my own some day was never exceptionally high. Even when I was given dolls, I never considered them as my “children” and I never considered myself as their “mother” as many of my childhood friends did. I instead saw my toys and dolls as individuals because that is how I saw myself. 

              Even through much of my teens, I never wanted to have children or start a family. I was glad when both my older brother and sister married their respective spouses and began having children so that at least my parents could be grandparents and I wouldn’t feel too guilty about not giving them a grandchild. Sure I wanted to find love and I wanted to find marriage but I wanted to leave the baby in the baby carriage out of the equation. But its stories like Jennifer’s, stories about women who yearn to love and care for a child of their own that really changed my attitude about having children. I began to see that there must be something so beautiful in creating and loving a child for these women who can’t conceive to want it so badly. There must be something so wonderful about having a family to call your own.

When my very own sister first attempted to start a family, she had a couple of setbacks and even had a miscarriage. But in time, she was blessed with my nephew Vincent and he was just one of those babies that warmed my cold I-never-want-to-have-a-family heart. With time my frosty attitude towards having a family of my own changed. I now feel that if biology allows, if the sperm meets the ovum in the way it does one day (but not any day soon of course), I really do want a family. 

After all, the family nucleus, where are things connect, is an essential part of life. I have had this epiphany after years of attempting to deny its importance and place in my past, present, and future. But again, it’s often stories of women like Jennifer who cannot conceive or stories you hear in the news of men annihilating their entire families, that have made me realize how precious a family is and how it is not something I could do without. After all, the family nucleus is certainly where are things connect and why deprive yourself of that connection?  

-Krystal