Let Me Tell You Why I DON'T Love College

I gave my brother the dirtiest look the other day. We were both slumped in the backseat of my mom’s car listening to 102.7 KISS FM (because what else do you listen to when you’re a pre-teen?) and he was singing along to a new song I hadn’t heard yet.

Man, I love college, ay!
And I love drinking, ay!
I love women, ay!
Man, I love college!

I did a double take—there’s was no way my 11 year old brother just sang that. He’s 11 for crying out loud! But he kept going and I almost wanted to smack him.

I can't tell you what I learned from school but
I could tell you a story or two, um
Yeah, of course I learned some rules
Like don't pass out with your shoes on
(Get the Sharpie!)

And all I could think was, whose college experience is this? It certainly wasn’t mine—or anyone else’s. I couldn’t help but be mad. I have worked too hard the last four years to have my entire collegiate career to be distilled into a womanizing song about getting drunk, having sex—and well, do it all over again, as Asher Roth spins lyrically.

I’m not saying that it’s wrong to party when you’re in college. By all means—go ahead—supposedly that’s an essential part of the college experience. But that’s not all there is to do in college, seriously. It’s a lie. A sad, sad lie. And granted, I don’t think my brother understands half of what he’s singing, but to the kids that do, that’s just an unrealistic portrait of their potential futures in college.

There’s classes, clubs, service organizations, classes, internships, dorm living, classes, oh and did I mention classes? You couldn’t possibly live a life based on Asher Roth’s song, I Love College, every night. You’d probably die of liver failure, contract an STD or unintentionally conceive a child (Asher Roth recommends guys put two condoms on—trust him), and worse, you’d flunk out of college so fast—faster than you can say beer pong or faster than falling down from a keg stand. And given how much it actually costs to go to LMU, you’re better off moving into a college town and making friends with the local party scene.

Why can’t there be a song about how college is about finding who you are, figuring out what you’re going to do for the rest of your life, expanding your horizons, meeting new and interesting people? Or hey, why not talk about how difficult college actually is, because it’s the last time in your life that you can be in a safe secure bubble before you have to go out in the world and make something of your life?

That’s what the real college is. And you’ll waste it all if all you ever do is party, you’ll miss out on everything and worse, you’ll come out of it knowing absolutely nothing except not to pass out with your shoes on. And that’s not what I signed up for.

It’s not about partying, not all the time. It’s work. It’s a learning process. It’s preparation. It’s real life.

Issa Morada
Photo Credit: Loud.com
Lyrics taken from: Metro Lyrics
Check out the video on youtube.