Home?

First of all, I'd just like to let out a cheer for President Obama. I look forward to the possibilities that lay before America. This was the first time I was able to vote in a presidential election and I am very proud of my generation for actually getting outside and voting. But this post is not meant to be political. Rather, I'm going to write about the truth of my life right now. In three weeks, I'm going to have my B.A. and I will be finished with college. It hasn't really hit me yet. I feel like after finals, I'll enjoy Christmas break, and it will only sink in when I return from break and realize I am not returning to the classrooms of Loyola as an undergraduate.

I don't really have a clear plan. As of right now, I have an apartment tentatively lined up, a part time job, and I am interviewing for a couple full time paid internships. I'm crossing my fingers. With the way the economy has been, finding a job has been really tough. I know I could take the easy way out and move back in with my parents until I start graduate school in the Fall, but I don't want to do that. I want to stand on my own. My mom keeps trying to get me to move back home, but I feel as if this is something I have to do for myself. I have to prove to myself that I can find a place and I can work and support myself. I think it is something I want to prove to my parents also so that I can give them the assurance that I can do it and be fully trusted to make my own life choices (although I think I will always ask for their advice anyways).

Interestingly enough, finding a job, an apartment, etc, has not been the toughest part. It has been telling my mom that, if I can help it, I won't be moving back home. A relationship between a child and a parent is a hard thing. She takes my determination to live on my own as an insult, as if I am taking all they have done for me for granted, as if living at home is such a terrible thing. But it's not like that. I appreciate everything. I love my home. And I'll always return back, I'll always ask for help if I need it, I'll always be with my family and love them with all my heart, but I also want to work to create my own home outside of home. And even though the road ahead is cloudy and unknown, I want to keep walking forward. I want to find my own way. And it's all because of my family that I am able to do so.