Scrambled

The truth is that I am overwhelmed. I am not overwhelmed with work, my relationship, or the economic state of the world. I think I would feel better if these were the issues overwhelming my mind and time. I am overwhelmed by my diet. I’ve been diagnosed with CD, Celiac’s disease. Basically, I’m allergic to gluten. It has taken me 24 years of vomiting, excruciating stomach aches, and osteopenia to figure that out. Now I’m waiting for my intestinal tract to heal so that I can actually go to the gym without any “mishaps”. I’ve thrown up in the presence of everyone that is close to me and some people that are not so close. I think the worst experience would have to have taken place in front of a group of sorority girls (the scary thing is that they didn’t seem to mind). Not being in control of your own body can be humiliating.

Since learning that I have CD I finally made the effort to figure out the extent of the alterations to my diet. I found gluten in some unusual places. Soy sauce is out and with it all Chinese food where the contents are questionable (so all Chinese food). Then I realized that restaurants and all complex dishes within such buildings are now off limits. My boyfriend and I were going to order Thai food and I was trying to figure out what I could eat, after my sixth or seventh prospective dish was yelled out my boyfriend yelled back, “Just ask the restaurant”. I stopped for a moment and mentally played out the process of that conversation. I’ll just make scrambled eggs; scrambled eggs are safe. I am going to turn in to one of those women that eat in every night for fear of outside food. There has to be a name for that. Perhaps on my next night of making an effort to learn more about CD I’ll look into it. I only have so many nights making an effort. The majority of my nights are spent making scrambled eggs.