The Boy With One Ear
On the first date with my boyfriend I was impressed by how attentively he watched me from across the table, paying attention to every word and not taking his eyes off of me as I talked. It wasn’t for a few more weeks that I realized his attentive nature was not because he was fascinated by what I was saying, but because he was reading my lips. He’s completely deaf in one ear and has hearing loss in the other.
Dating a half-deaf guy usually sucks. I have to repeat myself a lot. He can’t hear anything else if a radio or television is on. When we’re in the car I have to almost shout in order to be heard. If he’s listening to someone who mutters, obscures their mouth, or has a heavy accent it’s really hard for him to hear them, and I often end up playing the interpreter. Dealing with this problem creates a lot of tension because we both work to overcome it—I’m always repeating and translating, and he’s always trying to catch words or noise that he missed.
He resents being deaf, for it is understandably a really annoying situation to never be able to entirely hear a conversation, television, or music. I hate having to deal with the deafness on a regular basis, but the deafness is also one of his aspects that I admire. I’m prone to closing up and becoming introverted when I’m confronted with challenges, but my boyfriend just keeps trudging on with one ear, Van Gogh-style. I find the deafness quirky, a personal challenge that is lived publicly and without apologies.
The other reason that I love the deafness is because he can’t hear himself very well in addition to everyone else. This means that when he laughs he has a high-pitched squeak that is too high for him to hear. He doesn’t know he does it, but it’s a signature laugh: deep and guttural, manly, and then at the end, a soft, squeaky squeal that sounds like it came out of a fourteen-year-old girl. It’s a slight squeal; you won’t notice it unless you really listen. I’ve been listening for it for almost four years, and it still makes me laugh when it happens.
Dating a half-deaf guy usually sucks. I have to repeat myself a lot. He can’t hear anything else if a radio or television is on. When we’re in the car I have to almost shout in order to be heard. If he’s listening to someone who mutters, obscures their mouth, or has a heavy accent it’s really hard for him to hear them, and I often end up playing the interpreter. Dealing with this problem creates a lot of tension because we both work to overcome it—I’m always repeating and translating, and he’s always trying to catch words or noise that he missed.
He resents being deaf, for it is understandably a really annoying situation to never be able to entirely hear a conversation, television, or music. I hate having to deal with the deafness on a regular basis, but the deafness is also one of his aspects that I admire. I’m prone to closing up and becoming introverted when I’m confronted with challenges, but my boyfriend just keeps trudging on with one ear, Van Gogh-style. I find the deafness quirky, a personal challenge that is lived publicly and without apologies.
The other reason that I love the deafness is because he can’t hear himself very well in addition to everyone else. This means that when he laughs he has a high-pitched squeak that is too high for him to hear. He doesn’t know he does it, but it’s a signature laugh: deep and guttural, manly, and then at the end, a soft, squeaky squeal that sounds like it came out of a fourteen-year-old girl. It’s a slight squeal; you won’t notice it unless you really listen. I’ve been listening for it for almost four years, and it still makes me laugh when it happens.
posted by Elizabeth Whitmore | 3:32 PM
1 Comments:
When someone loses a sense, they often gain another, it seems as though the boy with one ear has gained far more than that. You have found an appreciation for him that would never have come along if he had two normal ears. The amount of work it takes for you two to communicate will make your relationship stronger no matter your differences...Bravo!
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