Smile Now

Everybody is my friend. At least I keep telling myself this over and again. Smile there. Say hi here. Bless you. Thank you, devil in disguise.

I’m sure there is quite a simple formula to making nice with every friend-I-haven’t-met-yet (stranger!) around the corner. Simple, but simply a foreign language to me. My issue begins with a word. Or most likely, a grunt. Maybe it started as a game back in the day, but for as long as I’ve known my initial response to most questions involved as nonverbal a reply as possible. It is certain that I do not like to talk about myself. No, the root of this issue doesn’t stem from insecurity or a fear of judgment or rejection. I just have a wall. From whence did this beast of solitude arise? My best guess is I was born like this. An island. With some help from Mom. And I have no problem with it. The fact is, I love myself. And my thoughts, they entertain me to no end instead of numbing certain cognitive functions. I can sit in absolute silence for hours on end and still have a running dialogue worthy of syndication. After finishing this piece, I will do just that, subjecting myself for a few hours of contained solitude as I assess the depth of vision along the Highway 395 in the middle of the night. The dark, the expanse, the opportunity for anything compels me in situations as these. I feel words would cheapen the experience, as if in a meditative state completely removed from the outside world.

But people-watching! That’s where the fun is. I see you, you might see me. I construct where you’re going, why, and from where before you can even twist your lips in smile. The reality of each individual story is exponentially more fascinating than any fabricated impression. Our genetics would deem us almost perfectly similar, while the total number of unique personalities expressed abounds as if salt in the sea. Lesson being, dive in to new oceans, there are many fish in these wonderful waters.


Weston Finfer