The Truth About Deception

After I finished watching the season finale of The Bachelor with my fellow Truth blogger Alex Mead, I left ABC news on while doing my homework.

I wasn’t really listening until I heard the broadcaster seriously state, “And now, information about the new iPhone app that will help you cheat...”

I nearly spit out my midnight bowl of frosted flakes!

I learned that the app is called tigertext (yes it’s mocking Tiger Woods). If the recipient of the message also has tigertext, than the app allows you to set a specific time span for the text message to be read before it’s deleted. The messages can also be set to ‘delete on read’ command, meaning the message deletes 60 seconds after the message is read. The messages are never saved to your phone, cannot be forwarded or copied, and the app does not have a delete history.

…All things that would be very convenient if you were, say, hiding something.

All of this info had me yelling at my TV screen, what the heck!? What is our world coming to? Are we really trying to help cheaters cover their tracks?

I don’t think I’ll ever understand why people cheat.

When I found out about my cheating ex-boyfriend, here are some of the reasons I received as to why someone might cheat:

1) People cheat because they are unhappy in their relationships. (ouch)
2) People cheat because they feel tied down and want to rebel against monogamy. (how weak!)
3) People cheat because they are sexual beings. (pathetic)
4) People cheat because they fall in love with someone else. (double ouch…)

In my opinion, no matter what the explanations for cheating may be, it is never an acceptable action. Cheating hurts everyone involved, and no justification for unfaithful actions can erase that.

My friends and family constantly assure me that it wasn’t my fault, and that his unfaithfulness was a character flaw in him. But, I still wonder what was wrong with me and what I could have done differently to keep my man faithful. Nothing seems to cure the feeling of rejection, disbelief, confusion and anger one feels when they find out that the one they love has played them.

I have had experiences with every end of the ‘cheating’ spectrum. I’ve been the one cheated on, I’ve had the ability to cheat, and I’ve also had the opportunity to become the mistress.

No matter what side I’ve been on, the conclusion I always come to is this: It is incredibly easy to cheat.

During the spout of my relationship with my ex, I had countless opportunities to cross the line, but instead I chose to walk away. This was not only because morality got in the way, but loyalty did, integrity did, love did. I choose not to cheat because I choose to live my life with honor and respect for another.

I have come to learn that cheaters are weak. It is easy to lie; the difficulty comes with being honest.

But what if you didn’t have to be honest? What if all the evidence could be destroyed by a simple iPhone app? Then, wouldn’t it be even easier to be a cheater and live with it, to brush it off as no big deal, to assure yourself that no one was hurt, because you knew you couldn’t get caught?

I find myself asking the creators of tigertext, how could you be on a cheaters side? Why are they developing programs that, sure, increase privacy, but that we all know is going to be used for harm not good? When did trust and loyalty get thrown to the wayside? When did respect leave the picture?

I guess not everyone is going to have the same moral compass as me, but it seems obvious that programs like these are going to be detrimental.

As for me, I don’t know how long it will be before I will be able to trust and love again. I’m not sure when I’ll be able to comfortably say that not every man I meet is a liar. Cheating damages, and it’s hard to erase that… Well unless you have tigertext… then the evidence will self-destruct in 60 seconds.

-Courtney M. Myers